A week in the life of Mehmed.....

4 weeks to the day that I forgot to medicate him, I forgot again... It must be something about Mondays.... This is a breakdown of what happened on Monday...  He apparently crawled around on the floor for most of the day.   When I picked him up at 3:20 he was crawling down the hall and both his teachers rolled their eyes and said that had pretty much been their entire day....   He made constant noises (probably his infamous pssssshhhhh psssshhhh crrrraaaaaasssshhhh noises) throughout the day, particularly disturbing during lesson time, pulled a mooner sometime around the end of the day, disappeared from the library where the class was having a lesson, and when he was informed by the teacher and his EA how his disappearance had frightened them (the library is near the front door of the school and they actually thought he might have left the school), his response was simply, "Well, I knew where I was"....   And there wasn't a chance in hell that he could have learned anything that day... focus was simply non-existent.  Oh, and I haven't even mentioned the hands on because even his teachers, who normally emphasize that sort of thing first, I think whatever it was just paled in comparison to the rest of their day.  Bear in mind that he's now 7 and in grade 2.   The SERT basically wrote a note in his agenda saying that his EA is a saint.   Can't say I disagree.   

Now I'm just recording it here because, well, it's probably a good idea to record stuff like this to remind myself on those days that I feel guilty for medicating him.   I have to feel guiltier for not medicating him... it deprives him of a day in which he can focus and actually benefit from school, never-mind the hell that it puts the teachers through.   Now, that's what happens when he's not medicated.   On days that he is medicated, I still get notes or information about random things like trying to hit a group of girls with a stick, standing in peoples faces and talking like Sylvester the cat (not funny for the recipients of all that saliva).  And that was just this week.   Ironically enough, even though I should NOT laugh at all this stuff, when you hear about everything all together, and days have passed since it all went down, and he's nowhere in ears reach, then sometimes it does bring out a bit of a giggle.   But PLEASE don't anyone tell that to his teachers.   And I totally welcome suggestions on end of year teacher gifts.....  If only I was a millionaire.....

Back to School!

Well, Ramadan is over, and it was great while it lasted but man fasting can be exhausting!  Kind of a relief when you're back to eating all the time.  Mehmed only lasted about a week before he lost interest.  That's ok.... better than last year, when his interest only lasted a day!  At this rate, he should be participating fully by the time he hits puberty....
He was happy to go back to school since he was getting bored....  I have to admit that while our summer was going great before Ramadan, I slowed right down to 1st gear during the fasting so he didn't have as much fun after that.
He's doing well at school, I started him back on the Concerta, which I don't like because it totally cuts his appetite, but on the other hand, it definitely works for him.   I had a meeting with the teacher and support staff and they were very positive about his behavior.   So the Concerta is working for him, and my workaround for the appetite problem is that I give him high calorie milkshakes for his lunch and snack.  He eats less during the day but the milkshakes help to make sure he doesn't lose the weight.
He has had a few problems with girls at school.  I worry because he really seems to hate them, but I think I had some interesting insight into that psychology...  I make him talk about why he hates them and he said, "they make me feel stupid, usually I get in trouble when they're around, and I'm not one of them".   I thought I'd try to dig for physical feelings, so I asked him if anything happens to his body when they're around... like, does he go blind, or deaf, or can't breathe?  (no way I was going to "lead" him on that question)....   and he says to me, "Well, there is something that I told you last year but I think you forgot" (I didn't forget but like I said, I wasn't going to lead him)... he says, real quietly, "my dinky likes them when he's being stupid"!!! LOL.
I probably shouldn't be writing that in a blog but then again, it's one of those things you don't want to forget.   So, he hates girls, but "you know who" is starting to like them and the end result... he's made that "you know who" likes them and he takes it out on the girls!   Have I unravelled the 5000 year old mystery of why boys hit girls that they like?   LOL.

Ramadan Mubarak!

It's that time of year again! I can't believe a whole year has passed... and this Ramadan is definately going much better for me than last year. Last year I'm 99% sure I had West Nile which I happened to come down with on the first day. It took me a week to get over the worst of the headaches and still another week after that to feel more like myself again. So this year, Al Hamdu Lillah (all praise is due to God Alone), Ramadan is GREAT. Sure I'm tired when I get up at 4 am to eat but I know it's worth it and I get plenty of time to rest during the day. The best part (for me) is that Mehmed is doing half-day fasts with us, which means that he's getting up at 4am too, and usually waiting up to pray with us (unless he's falling over exhausted). I love that. He's so sweet and he is really earnest in his efforts! Don't worry, there's no pressure on him to maintain his fast, if he wants to break it earlier than the noon prayer, he's welcome too, but so far he's only asked to do that once, MashAllah.
But I don't take him to the Taraweeh prayers at the mosque since we don't get home till almost midnight and that means waking him up for the 4am meal would just be torture.
To anyone who is celebrating, may Allah accept your intentions, forgive your sins and grant you all your du'a (supplication prayers). Ameen.

Thanks for the reminder Sherry!

LOL, yes, I did forget I had a blog again... I guess it's just not as interesting when you're not off travelling the world.
Not much to update... Mehmed started on a slow-release form of Ritalin in February. The complaints from the school have virtually died off which is WONDERFUL, and they even allow him to line up and go to the washroom at the same time as the other students, which sounds weird, but his reactions to the hustle and bustle were quite extreme - lots of screaming or acting out if he felt too jostled. So, he's definately made progress, thank God.

But I have done some web-reading on the drug and found that it can be very dangerous for the heart (particularly when used long term). When he first started he lost about 2 lbs in 1 month, but I've been giving him Slimfast and other protein based milkshakes, especially in his school lunches because that is the time of day he virtually refuses to eat (when he's medicated). They seem to be working because he has grown 1 inch and gained 5 lbs since February (I guess that means he's gained 7 since he lost the other 2). The other problem I find is that he is now far MORE hyper than he ever used to be, particularly in the evenings when it starts to wear off and on the many days (weekends and what not) that I don't give him any. I'm looking forward to the 2 month summer break so that I can see exactly how long it takes his body to return to the way he was before (hopefully minus the tantrums, aggression and a with just enough maturation that he has a little more self-control).
8 more days of school until summer officially begins and my freedom officially ends!
Oh well, at least I will still have my Wednesday group! (Gather with a bunch of women at the mosque or in our homes for reading & religious discussion. And we can't gather without lots of goodies and tea ;) - it's definately my favorite day of the week).
Well I guess that's all I've got to blog about for maybe another 6 months? JK - maybe we'll have some fun things to blog about this summer....
P.S. Thanks again for the nudge Sherry ;) - but having only 1 child I guess I just have far less going on so it's so much easier to forget. Your blog is waaaayyy more interesting.... That and having Grandma right downstairs means 1 less person wanting to read the updates.

Backyard Skating Rink

So, what can I say? It's winter and not much is happening....

But, we did do something for fun - we built a little backyard skating rink. We bought Orhan a pair of skates 3 years ago, and he tried them out back then, but after he crashed hard on his butt in public he hasn't made an effort to get back on them since then. Now that we have our private little rink, he actually made another go at it! He did not bad too, for somebody who's basically never skated before (you really can't count that time 3 years ago, he lasted all of 2 minutes on the ice I think).

So I made a little vid of our backyard rink, and since Mehmed enjoys trying out his little tricks & stuff, I thought I'd do a comparison between him and the Turkish Olympic figure skater, Tugba Karademir (pronounced tooba). She's the daughter of Orhan's friend Tayfun, so naturally we thought of her when we watched Mehmed doing his thing...

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Needless to say, I'm not holding out much hope for any future Olympic potential coming out of our house. On the other hand, I'm praying hard for Tugba to do well in Vancouver!

On a Mehmed note, he seems to be doing great at home, except for a few long-lasting morning tantrums that make us late for school. Really weird things too, like freaking out because the leg of his pants get stuck up inside the leg of the snowpants, or like when he refused to use a cup to gargle after brushing his teeth and absolutely wanted my hand. These are not the kind of things you'd expect to cause a major 20 minute meltdown are they?

But he seems to STILL have problems keeping his hands to himself at school. When I picked him up on Friday, I watched as he pretended two big snowballs were guns, and while he pretended to shoot at this little two year old standing in front of him, I thought, 'Oh Brother', but didn't call him out on it (not expecting invisible bullets to actually cause the other child any harm) - until he just randomly kicked the poor little kid right in front of my eyes. And it was all just part of whatever game he was playing in his imagination. Arg. I usually try to tell myself that there must be some grand divine reason behind these trials, and that maybe one day he'll grow up to be a really peaceful man and a good Muslim. It's kind of hard to remember when you see your really big 6 year old randomly kick a 2 year old and make him cry :(.

Anyways, we're waiting on our next appointment with the pediatrician to review an ADHD form to be completed by his teacher. For kids with true ADHD, apparently the meds are very effective, but when trying them on kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders, it can be really hit and miss. About 75% of Mehmed's "aggressive" behaviour can usually be attributed to impulsiveness, so I'm praying that it helps him, especially at school! And, any improvements on his behaviour (i.e. tantrums) at home would just be icing on the cake.

Well, that's all for now... Happy Snow days!

I forgot I had a blog...

LOL I actually forgot I had a blog. Well, not entirely, but almost.

We've spent the last 3 weeks battling swine flu, viruses & other infections - not always my own, but definately this is starting to feel like a sick house. Mehmed just finished a round of antibiotics on Sunday and he seems to be doing better. Mom had pneumonia, she suffered the worst in the house, partly because she waited too long to get help I think. But her antibiotics seem to be working now and she seems better. Unfortunately I got antibiotics too and they have been helping my chest feel more clear but I have a wicked sore throat and sinuses that seem to follow their own will. But the tickling cough is the thing that's driving me the most NUTS. The antibiotics are not helping those so I guess I'm stuck with it until my body figures out what to do.

I don't remember if I ever blogged about it but in September we bought an SUV - a Mercedes ML320. It was nice, not brand new or anything, (2002) but it was kind of cool to have a Mercedes, and to be able to get into a car without ducking your head down. Anyways, 6 weeks after we got it, on the 23rd of October, Orhan was out doing an estimate for a customer and just after he got out of the driveway and started down the road, a drunk driver came flying down the hill and skidded into Orhan's lane. Thankfully, Orhan and his helper were not injured at all but the car was a write-off. Oh well. I guess we were not meant to have big-name vehicles after all. Lucky for us the Honda hadn't sold yet, so we're back in it and have decided to be grateful for what we've got. Al Hamdu Lillah (Praise be to God).

Anyways, so a cop came over to the house a week or so ago to take the official report on the accident - apparently the officer at the scene failed to do that. So, given all the complaints I've been getting from the school about Mehmed's aggression, I decided to see if he'd tell Mehmed that Mommy and Daddy are not lying when we say that that kind of activity can land you in jail.... man, he didn't scare Mehmed much but he scared me!!! Apparently Orhan and I can get sued if some parent thinks that we haven't done enough to prevent their child from getting injured! Which sucks because there's NOTHING I can do when he's at school. I'm not the one standing there supervising him and able to yell out to stop when I can see something's about to happen. And at the school they are too understaffed for recess to have somebody who can catch him before he's done something. It's so frustrating! The cop did say that he's never seen a kid go to a juvenile detention center before the age of 12.

Gee, how reassuring.

It's lit a flame under my butt though & I'll be meeting with his pediatrician in December to discuss his aggression as well as his hyperactivity (which are kind of connected - he's so impulsive). Thinking I'll cave and try the ADHD meds.... although the last time we discussed it, she advised that kids on the Autistic spectrum only respond well to the ADHD meds 50% of the time, compared to 90% success rate for kids who have just an ADD or ADHD diagnosis. I hope they work for him.

I'm also gonna meet with a Consultant at Kerry's Place - it's a center specializing in helping people with Autism. They will be able to refer us to whatever treatments we might need. I'm thinking he should be getting IBI (intensive behavioural intervention). That probably sounds scarier than it is. From my understanding it's kind of like physiotherapy but the repetitiveness is not physical, it's something that's meant to help him retrain his brain on how to respond appropriately to various stimuli - meant to improve the way he communicates and responds to stresses and stuff.

n e ways.... that's all for now. I guess I am so long-winded I'm better off only updating once every 6 weeks!

Bayram Mubarak Olsun
Eid Mubarak to all the Muslims! (that's coming on Friday).

Happier Play thanks to advice :)

Just updating to say that on Wednesday at Dinosaur school I got awesome advice about how to avoid the gun play. I guess part of the problem was that I partially misunderstood the assignment. We were supposed to allow the kids to completely dominate/rule the method of play - but we didn't have to make them choose the activity - we can first suggest the activity and then role with however they want to play it. So now instead of asking him what he wants to play, I just suggest something and then let him completely rule the play.
So far we've played ladybugs, crafts, his pirhana game, and just lots of fun times. He's so sweet when he's given the command of playing....
And when I picked him up at school on Friday, he was so excited, carrying a Turkey made out of an apple stuck with a popsicle stick and some feathers. Said he wanted to give it to Aunt Sandra (I guess because he remembered that she has REAL turkeys at the farm). It was so cute, I can't wait to go there for Turkey dinner tomorrow!
Anyways, all is well! Guess I have a lot to be thankful for :)
Happy Thanksgiving!