So here I am, 7 days into cycle 2 (ummm... finally!) and it seems everyone in the house is sick. Mehmed's got another cold. Orhan's knees are killing him. Seriously, I practically feel the pain myself when I watch him walk up the stairs or try to get up and down off the floor. I hope I can get well quickly after all this and maybe switch to a full time job so that he can consider retraining for an alternative career. A carpet installer's knees just don't last forever. And of course there's mom with her multitude of health issues. She's had this pain on her upper right abdomen for quite a while now, but the CT scan literally shows nothing wrong, so no idea what to do or how to help her.
So far with cycle 2, even though my dose was lowered, I'm feeling a lot more fatigue. Like, just getting up to the kitchen and washing a few dishes gets my heart beating hard and me feeling like I just ran a few flights of stairs. For some context, I wasn't exactly in the best shape even before all of this, so running a few flights of stairs would have knocked me out. So I've put a call in to the nurses... hoping they agree to at least check my hemoglobin levels because I have a feeling they're tanking.
On a brighter note, and a completely non-C topic 😊, I revisited a blog I wrote about one of Mehmed's typical days in grade 2. Omg how that boy has changed and grown!!! Sometimes I forget how difficult and odd his behaviour could be in those early years. The medication did help him to get through I guess grades 2 and 3. I actually don't remember when I finally stopped giving it to him, but I think it might have been in the spring of 2012. Best decision I ever made. His temper tantrums calmed down significantly after that - it turns out that one of the side effects of ADHD medication is an increase in feelings of rage. I had no idea because before he started the meds, his temper was bad. So I didn't see a difference until he got off them. See, by that time he had had so much training on how to control his temper that when we took the meds out of the equation, he was actually able to do it.
He's so mature now and he actually has a level of self-awareness about some of his mildly autistic traits. It's helping him to actually make his own efforts to improve his behaviour. Every single year he seems to succeed in overcoming some major milestone. The last 2 years have actually been milestones related to his academic progress. I can't believe it sometimes. He was actually happy to return to school last September and he cares about his marks. He was even upset at his report cards, although Orhan and I were very happy with them. I see improvements and that thrills me. He doesn't want to see any marks below 70... but I don't care about that. A) he's still only in grade 8...and B) his marks are miles better than they ever used to be... I mean if I'm seeing multiple marks above 80, from this boy who could barely write a paragraph a few years ago, and was crawling around on the floor in grade 2.... I mean OMG, what parent would not be thrilled with such progress!?
He still has a lot more anxiety than I think typical kids do. I feel like we need to spend a lot of time reassuring him about the things that stress him out. Thankfully, religion has helped him a lot. He admits that he thinks he's got a lot more faith than most of his friends, and he often comments on how good he feels after we do something that's spiritually rewarding.
I am so proud of this boy and I hope I kick this cancer in the ass so hard that I can keep watching him grow up into the amazing man I know he will be 💕. InshaAllah.
The Meaningless Chair
17 hours ago